“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.” -Martha Graham
My Name…
Heather is the name my mother gave me. I was partially named after her college roommate and partially after the song “Heather on the Hill” from Brigadoon the musical.
My mom has a Masters in Music Education…so the woman knows musicals. The picture above is of summertime in the Highlands of Scotland, where Brigadoon took place. The folklore around the Heather plant abounds, if you’re interested in its origins.
Heather is my given name, but many people simply call me H. It’s a nickname from high school that stuck – mostly because the man who gave me that nickname became my dearest friend for years, even in college, and insisted that was my name to anyone we met. LOL.
So H it was.
Which turns out pretty great since there are many Heathers in the world.
Also because that 80s cult classic, Heathers, does not exactly give us a good name. (But good movie!)
However, I am also called DR. H.
Why?
Because I earned it! I am a Doctor…of philosophy.
A Doctor of what, exactly?
This is generally the next question after someone learns I have a PhD, so let’s just answer this now.
First, though, let’s be clear, doctors can be smart AND total goofballs. I’m obviously living proof. Maybe that’s how we stay sane…
Just to answer the most common questions on the topic, I have the following academic degrees:
Ph.D. in Educational Leadership & Policy Analysis (emphasis on Policy)
M.A. in Education (Elementary)
B.S. in English
And I will just put it out there that I LOVE having a B.S. in English. Lol. I mean, it is THE best wordplay an English major could ask for.
That will NEVER get old.
What? You’re already over it? Well, not me. Hehe.
Sooo…you’re a teacher then? Or a professor?
I WAS a professor…an adjunct professor in the School of Education for two years at our flagship University.
I was also a teaching assistant while I was in graduate school. I truly enjoyed it!
However, as most teaching can be, it was also incredibly frustrating and VERY eye-opening.
As a student and K-12 teacher, I had a truly warped understanding of what a professor’s life is really like.
Let’s just say I went into my doctoral program thinking a professorship would be the BEST liberating and family-friendly career…and graduated with a FAR more realistic perspective.
That doctoral program also kicked my metaphorical and physical butt. But I don’t regret it one bit.
I learned SO much that I wish EVERY K-12 teacher could know and developed a whole new way of thinking and researching, not only as a teacher and academic, but simply a person.
The perspective I originally held for professorship is actually very similar to what many OTHER teachers had of my K-12 teaching position: teacher of the gifted/talented.
When meeting a teacher for the first time, I often heard: “you are so lucky!” or the truly naive “that must be so easy!”
Why? Because many people think gifted kids are the students that know all the right answers, behave perfectly, and turn in everything neatly and on time.
NOPE! Lol. Wrong! As in ‘let me sit down I’m laughing too hard,’ kind of wrong. *wink*
Want to get me on an excited tangent or soapbox in T-minus 10 seconds? Ask me about gifted kids, act like a gifted kid, say you think your child is gifted, or (hopefully not) recite a wide-held stereotype about gifted kids as if it were truth. Sit down Margaret, we need to talk.
I will write more about this topic, trust me. But for now, I will just say that I was the gifted/talented teacher for grades K-8 in a smaller midwestern town for three years. It was the best as well as the hardest job I’ve ever had.
I loved it SO much, but a brand new gifted teacher trying to completely revamp a piecemeal program herself, WHILE teaching 9 different grade levels, meant early burnout…and I didn’t think my ‘kids’ deserved a shell of a teacher.
So I left with the goal of learning how to ‘fix’ the system. The outcome of THAT goal is a story for another time.
Which brings me to my own gifted little girl.
No, I don’t call her gifted because she is mine. If you know what being gifted really means you know the term ‘gifted’ is not a status symbol or privilege.
It really just boils down to a different way of thinking. And buddy, she’s got it in spades.
When I was pregnant I started reading all kinds of books about homeschooling and home-based learning because, well, those who have taught in the K-12 system also know why they may not want to send their own children through that system and why they chose to go with home education.
During my pregnancy I just had a feeling this little person might be like one of my former students – gifted. I also knew she might very well not thrive in our public school system. So I did what bookworms do – I read and I researched.
I liked pieces of many different homeschooling ideas, but one really resonated with me…and made me a bit nervous. It’s called unschooling.
There are SO many different conceptions of what unschooling is. There is also a large chunk of the population that has never heard of it. So rest assured, I will write about it. (Girl) Scouts honor. Lol.
Until that time, know that my little lady is currently 7, has never been in a school, doesn’t have a curriculum or designated ‘school’ time, and is doing great. AND, I just happen to have all the qualifications to prove that statement. 😉
So, in answer to the original question…FINALLY, right?!…I am a teacher to my little girl.
I did private tutoring for a while after my PhD, but because of many things that I’ll write about here eventually, my daughter became my entire ‘job.’ Well, that is until last Fall, when freelance writing became a part of my life. Again, I’ll get to that later.
But What do you do all day?
Hahahaha!!
You know how you’re never supposed to ask a woman if she is pregnant (in case she isn’t)? Here’s one of those questions you really shouldn’t ask a stay-at-home mom…but I understand why it’s asked.
I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, choosing to believe they honestly want to know what my day looks like.
Not that they are utterly clueless about raising and educating a small human, among other daily tasks…you know, like making a simple phone call.
Anyway, back to the original question: what do I do all day?
In a typical day I:
- Get up and out of bed when my little human alarm clock goes off – no snooze button on those.
- Feed myself and a more particular human, at least three times a day. Often requiring cooking, cleaning, compromises, and better food for the small human than myself…lol
- Spend the time small human is eating to take a breather and order some groceries, pay some bills, or check some emails while possibly eating some food myself.
- Lol…you get the picture. The typical stay-at-home Mom work of playing, tidying, educating, answering questions, feeding, cleaning child multiple times, cajoling said child outside, etc.
However, as many parents know, when you have a child with special needs this all gets a little more complicated.
My daughter is not only gifted (which comes with its own special needs) but she also inherits anxiety from both sides of the family AND has a Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) – where her brain can have trouble knowing how to respond to sensory experiences.
Lots and lots of patience, as well as explaining what I’m doing or where we are going, making sure she is wearing ear-protection when I use the blender, and various other daily adjustments are part of having a little lady with anxiety and SPD.
Oh, and don’t forget, stay-at-home Moms are also the financial planner, tax accountant, chauffeur, laundress, medical scheduler, insurance adjuster, seamstress, organizer, planner, crafter, paperwork specialist, hygienist, stylist, professional finder of things, chef, maid, nurse, and much more…and often not just for the kid(s) either.
THEN, when munchkin is in bed or spouse can take over after work and dinner, I start on the work for my freelance clients. On a good night I might even get to read or write for myself before bed!
Last but not least: 10 random facts
- I am constantly singing, humming, or whistling a random song stuck in my head. Generally an old 80s/90s commercial jingle, song from a musical, children’s song, etc.
- I randomly put new lyrics to songs/jingles/ditties as they please me. Lol. Generally on purpose, but sometimes on accident.
- I grew up with only brothers in a neighborhood of boys and the daughter of a Shriner. I have been around FAR more males than females in my lifetime. lol.
- Give me a forest with a creek or a shaded space with two trees and a nylon hammock and I’m in heaven.
- Books, books, and more books. Libraries are my glittery castles and books are my haven.
- Cats. Absolutely 100% cats. I will happily play with your dog, but then return him/her. Cats are where it’s at.
- Never have I ever: watched an episode of Game of Thrones. I know, cue the gasps. lol.
- I have been lactose intolerant since I was a child. I’ve been gluten intolerant for over a decade.
- My hair was once down to my knees. It made for a number of interesting stories.
- My next international trip will be to Scotland, Ireland, and England. I’ve been dying to go there for years.